


peace

by fireandhoney



Series: folklore [2]
Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Based on a Taylor Swift Song, Folklore, Idiots in Love, M/M, Song Lyrics, Song fic, TWO IDIOTS, is it enough
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:33:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28181697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fireandhoney/pseuds/fireandhoney
Relationships: Johnlock, Sherlock Holmes/John Watson
Series: folklore [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2064408
Kudos: 3





	peace

Would it be enough if I could never give you peace?

Life with me will never be easy  
I don't have a boring office job  
I won't be coming home at 5 every day to watch telly and enjoy a quiet evening  
I'm more running around and chasing criminals and being in the line of fire and fighting and danger  
mostly danger  
And there's no way around it, no way to avoid it  
because it's part of who I am  
this Work, these cases, this life  
it's part of who I am

I'm not an nice person to deal with  
I'm not pleasant, I'm not caring or emotional  
I'm rude, and direct, and brutally honest  
I'm an asshole, a jerk, a freak  
I prioritize the Work, and nothing else  
I don't care for people, for sensitivities, for sentiment

I've got my load of problems  
Pain and drugs and danger and excess  
I'm addicted to the Work  
and there's no way to avoid it  
avoid all the bad  
because it lives in me

No I could never give you peace

Could it ever be enough? 

*************************

Soldier, doctor, adrenaline junkie?  
Which one would you rather pick to describe me?  
Mycroft saw it right away, and I think you did too  
Psychosomatic, but not in regrets or fear: in nostalgia  
Missing the action, needing the chase  
The run, the blood pumping, the racing heartbeat  
The adrenaline, the rush  
Life is so insufferable without it  
When I came back, when I was stuck in the hospital for such a long time  
I thought I'd rather be anywhere else  
I'd rather be on the battlefield, rather be out there, risking my life  
Than here, stuck in nothingness, stuck useless  
and then I got out  
then I was released  
and everything became a thousand times worse  
I had nothing, nothing to justify staying  
nothing to justify being alive  
I started thinking I'd rather have died  
I would rather be dead than forced to keep living this meaningless existence  
Waking up, wandering about, going back to sleep  
No longer a soldier, no longer a doctor, an adrenaline junkie in need of a fix  
A drug addict with no means to get more supply  
Stranded on this lonely desert island of non-existence  
Floating in this void, disconnected from everything  
Utterly useless  
What did I even have to live for, to look forward to?  
Hanging on to my oldest, loyal friend  
The cool smooth metal in my hand  
Its reassuring weight, so familiar in my palm  
Closing my eyes, breathing in and out  
And then something, a little hope, or weakness?  
Something forcing me to lift it from my lips, forcing me to open my eyes. Putting it back in the drawer. Sighing.  
You didn't just save my life, Sherlock Holmes. You gave me one.  
I'm not one to work a 9 to 5, come home to watch telly, go to sleep, repeat. I need more, I need to feel needed, I need to feel. I need to feel something.  
Would it be enough if I could never give you peace?


End file.
